Have you ever told yourself “NO”?—I have…on numerous occasions.
You have an idea that you want to try out, but you tell yourself—No, it will never work.
You want to start your own business, but you convince yourself—No, I’m not fit out for it.
You want to reach out and connect with someone, but you talk yourself out of it by saying—No, they’ll never be willing to connect with me.
Before we even get a chance to try, we deny ourselves of the opportunity.
Why do we do this?
The reason is because most people will do nearly anything to avoid failure.
They’ll work at a job that they hate because they’re afraid to try something new.
They never go to the gym because they fear they’ll be judged.
They fail to share their gifts, ideas, or put their work out into the world because they think it’s not good enough.
There’s a fear of hearing “NO” from others, so we tell ourselves “NO” in order to avoid facing this fear. It’s a paralyzing cycle and an ineffective way to think and live.
That’s why we have to break this habit…Starting now!
Believe in yourself enough to be willing to try new things and to pursue greater avenues in life.
What you believe about yourself will be the determining factor to how you interpret the word “NO”.
You have to take yourself seriously and believe that you are capable of accomplishing new goals. Trust me, you’re not destined to fail, you’re destined to achieve.
One common reason why we tell ourselves “NO” is because we often think that we’re not ready yet.
I don’t have enough experience.
I need to learn more.
I need to figure everything out first.
…and we do this because we want to succeed right from the beginning. We want it to be perfect the first time we try.
Well, here’s the overlooked truth: Every master was once a disaster. We can’t create the expectation of perfection with the first step. We have to embrace the fact that there’s a learning curve and we have to have the willingness to climb it.
You can always find reasons for why now is not the right time or why you’re not ready…but if you wait until you’re ready nothing will ever get accomplished.
Three new personal rules to adopt:
Say “YES” to the ideas that wake you up: When you come up with an idea or have an endeavor that you want to take on…embrace it. Even if you have doubts, don’t shut down the idea figure out how you can take a single step towards achieving it. Once you take a step, take another, and another. It’s about dreaming big, but starting small.
Never answer “NO” for someone else: When there’s someone that can give you access to a new opportunity, never say NO before you even ask. Maybe you want a promotion at your job, a referral for a new position, or would like them to mentor you, whatever the case, never answer for the other person. If you never ask the answer will always be “NO”.
Don’t give up at the first “NO”: “NO” doesn’t mean “never”. “NO” doesn’t mean “impossible”…it means “not yet” or “not this way”. Don’t quit because it doesn’t work out the first time. Don’t stop because you get denied. Your responsibility is to find your “YES”, to find the way that works, and the best route to achievement. You may not find it the first time you try, but if you never give up you’ll eventually cross it’s path. When you get negative feedback or make a mistake…make adjustments, tweak your approach, and keep going.
Think about how many times you’ve told yourself “NO” within the last month. The last 6 months. The last year. How could life be different had you said, “YES” and gave yourself permission to move forward?
Don’t deny yourself opportunities. Don’t paralyze your progress. Don’t prevent new beginnings from occurring because you tell yourself “NO”.
Start the habit of telling yourself “YES”.